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Greeves’s unsatisfactory apologetic manoeuvres towards Lewis (most of which we don’t have, since Lewis didn’t keep his letters), seem to have goaded Lewis into greater consideration of Christian doctrine, but these ruminations do not appear in the early letters, and there is very little correspondence concerning his conversion to theism at Magdalen College in 1929. Most correspondence up until this point concerns matters of friendship and reading. One fascinating exception is Lewis’s admission to Greeves late in 1929 that he is finding 'more and more the element of truth in the old beliefs…even their dreadful side' (VI, p.850).
| Lewis’s conversion to theism is certainly less remarked upon by him
than his tortuous path towards belief in the divinity and lordship of
Jesus Christ. In 1930, he is still writing to Greeves that, ‘In spite
of all my recent changes of view, I am still inclined to think that you
can only get what you call "Christ" out of the Gospels by picking &
choosing, & slurring over a great deal’ (VI, p.862). But precious moments of spiritual awakening emerge as the correspondence continues, such as Lewis’s remark in 1930: ‘Terrible things are happening to me. The “Spirit” or “Real I” is showing an alarming tendency to become much more personal and is taking the offensive, and behaving just like God.’ (VI, p.882). Something is slouching towards Bethlehem in Lewis’s mind’s eye! Furthermore, Lewis is awkwardly aware that he is not entirely in control of what is going on: ‘I can’t express the change better than by saying that whereas once I would have said “Shall I adopt Christianity”, I now wait to see whether it will adopt me: i.e. I now know there is another Party in the affair—that I’m playing poker, not Patience, as I once supposed.’ (VI, p.887). |
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