Thinking Out LoudMy family’s road trip across America’s deep south was to attend a cousin’s wedding, see friends and eat our way through deep-fried indulgences. These objectives were happily satisfied. But the biggest lesson of the trip came from my kids – aged 8, 6 and 3.
Anywhere and everywhere they found other kids, they would connect and play. A 20-minute stop at a playground in rural Alabama turned into an entire afternoon playing with new friends. A visit to a church in Nashville ended with them wanting to live there. It was indiscriminate and unstoppable. Cousins they’d never met before. Friends they hadn’t seen for years. Locals at playgrounds. From riverbanks to museums to uproarious houses packed with relatives, they put on a masterclass of rapid connection and instant play.
This might seem unremarkable and unsurprising, but I needed the reminder, and the lesson. As we get older, we get more selective in screening for connection. We act like prestigious universities – protecting our schedules and standards, shying away from those who don’t fit our needs. As comedian Jerry Seinfeld put it, at some point we just stop accepting applications for connection.
By contrast, kids are indiscriminate and open for business. Just being together is enough. It’s no coincidence that Martin Luther King Jnr banked his famous dream on children playing together. Connection is what we are made for. It’s probably why the Bible tells us that the Kingdom of God belongs not to the childish, but the childlike.
Well, there’s nothing more childish than the desire to grow up, and nothing more childlike than the willingness to connect with those around us – just for the sake of it. As Bluey declared, “It’s more fun when we all play together.” I hope our kids never let us forget it.
This Thinking Out Loud was first published on Facebook.
Image: Max Jeganathan via Canva Pro