Men behaving badly

On a recent early morning surf check, standing in the carpark overlooking my local beach, assessing the waves and a bit mesmerised at the beauty of the sunrise, I suddenly found myself embroiled in an altercation. A middle-aged man with a large dog on a lead started arguing with a young surfer, who was making his way down to the beach. 

The dispute was the result of a dog fight that had occurred earlier when the surfer’s dog had escaped his house. While I tried some diplomacy, the older man’s abuse of the young guy started escalating. The surfer wisely decided to head for the water and without warning attention turned to me! My peace-making efforts hadn’t gone down well. I was called names I hadn’t been called since Year 6, and with a viciousness that was chilling. 

The rage in the man’s eyes and level of fury he was able to reach at 7am was bewildering to me and others who witnessed it. It was sobering to think about what it would be like to live in the same house as someone capable of such explosive anger.  

I’ve written a book on masculinity. It’s called The End of Men?, focusing on the place of boys and young men today. The book seeks to promote a thoughtful conversation about how we go about creating formative environments that contribute to boys growing up to be the kind of person you would want to be around if you were a child, a teenager, a woman or another man. 

The book makes the case that young boys won’t simply know how to be good men. They will have to be shown. And promoting a healthy masculinity is in everybody’s interests.