Thinking Out LoudWith the release of my The End of Men? book and Father’s Day approaching I’ve been contemplating what a gift it has been to have had a great Dad (who is still around at 88). I don’t take it for granted that my Dad was present, stable, kind and loving. Home was a haven of warmth, laughs and emotional support. I know many people who weren’t as fortunate.
In 2018, an enormous study was released in the United States on race and economic opportunity. It revealed alarming impacts of racism on outcomes for black boys particularly. But a fascinating aspect of that study was that it clearly revealed the positive impact of the presence of fathers in a given neighbourhood. This was true even for boys from families led by single mothers. Just having a good number of fathers around was enough to make a statistically significant difference in terms of how well the boys fared.
It’s a salient reminder of the impact for good or ill you can have as a father, or importantly, as a father figure. Andrew McUtchen is the co-creator of The Father Hood, an online community supporting young dads to play that role as well as they can. Andrew believes that being a Dad, or father figure, can often bring about a needed change in the adult too.
“I don’t think I’ve ever been as motivated to be as positive a male as I am as a dad, because I have three daughters looking up to me every day, and I’m trying to live my best life … to show them the kind of man that men can be,” he says.
That brand of love – seeking the good of the other – provides lasting rewards not only for the recipient, but the giver as well.